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mary's tags

... Here's a tip, don't fly on payday.
... That would be an ecumenical matter.
... Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9
... If music be the food of love, why don't rabbits play banjos?
... Food, fun and flexible hours
... Paper or plastic?
... Folkies: people who play by ear and sing through their noses
... vitae lampada ferimus
... If little green men land in your back yard
... ...phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled
... Invite them all in. Nip out the back door
... ...hide any little green women you’ve got in the house
... Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed
... Return to Zenda
... It's a doggy-dog world
... And I'm also a mento for kids. A mento? You know, a mento, a role model.
... No-one gets murdered, or married, or in a tricky situation over a pound note
... but I can't bring this ship in to Tortuga all by my onesie, savvy?
... You've burnt the food, the shelter, the rum!
... but why is the rum gone?
... there is a very fine line between love and nausea
... completely free from infection, to be used at your discretion
... I tied my shoes once and, believe me, it is highly over-rated
... the penis, mightier than the sword
... This is a Joey heavy episode anyway
... Never say your mother had a jibber
... Obstruct the doors, cause delays and be dangerous
... Obstruct the doors, cause delays and anger us
... Paper! Snow! A ghost!
... A rock! A dog! The earth!
... No, it is the bad kind of puppy.
... So there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that feller.... E.T
... I put the rabbits in the last place he'd think of them - his own room!
... It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.
... Spider-Baby. It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.
... DON'T TELL ME I'M STILL ON THAT FECKIN' ISLAND!!!
... You will address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!
... Those women were in the nip!
... Father Clippit says a good long mass. Four hours he does. Since his stroke.
... It's nice to have a nun around. Gives the place a bit of glamour.
... Wait a second. You're Elvis as well!
... Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats.
... You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning.
... Feck! Nuns! Reverse! Reverse!
... How come all the rocks are different sizes?
... As if by magic, I can create a big crowd of invisible ducks.
... I didn't sell out...I bought in.
... Is the space-pope reptilian?
... See, it's not that I'm lazy...it's that I just don't care.
... It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
... Oh, right, right, with the bones. I always forget about the bones.
... Dasher, Dancer ... Prancer ... Nixon, Comet, Cupid ... Donna Dixon.
... Television -- teacher, mother, secret lover!
... I bent my wookie.
... Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.
... Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!
... Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do.
... You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.
... It's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
... Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.
... The aerodynamics work! He's breaking wind at 90!
... Well, the Pope may be French, but Jesus is English! You're on!
... I'm well aware a good fonging is on the way.
... It's called a lance. Hello?
... But a full stomach, that dream can come true.
... We're the sons of peasants. Glory and riches and stars are beyond our grasp
... I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
... Looks like the cows have come home to roost.
... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. That's the way I want to go.
... I tried working once. Not worth it. Takes up your whole day!
... We’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it.
... Wait a minute - who elected you leader of this outfit?
... A lot of respectable people have been hit by trains.
... it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.
... I detect, like me, you're endowed with the gift of gab.
... You mean to tell me you sold your everlasting soul for *that*?
... Somewhere out there is a lady who I think will never be a nun.
... the wool from the black sheep is just as warm.
... Only grown-up men are scared of women.
... I have vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
... I'm not crazy; I'm just colorful.
... Boy, for a gunman, you sure are a pessimist.
... but as we say on Earth, c'est la vie.
... The word is no. I am therefore going anyway.
... The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain
... How can you be deaf with ears like that?
... at last we meet again for the first time for the last time.
... Out of order? FUCK! Even in the future, nothing works!
... now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
... I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
... They've gone to plaid!
... Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?
... when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!
... You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world!
... Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.
... A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
... "Get her." That was your whole plan. I like it - it was scientific.
... We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.
... NOBODY steps on a church in my town.
... Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement.
... I'm not even supposed to be here today!
... All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.
... You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.
... Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence.
... if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!
... When someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes.
... I fart in your general direction.
... Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
... He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
... If she weighs the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
... What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
... What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
... Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.
... That's the one good thing about me. I never do the same wrong thing twice.
... You shot the invisible swordsman!
... the principle of Buddhism is not "every man for himself".
... Aristotle was not Belgian.
... the London Underground is not a political movement.
... Don't eat the green ones, they're not quite ripe.
... Bring me... the bore worms.
... I'd much rather see you on my side, than scattered into...atoms.
... Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!
... Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking.
... You have no power here! Now begone, before somebody drops a house on you!
... I'm not afraid of anything -- except a lighted match.
... We must be over the rainbow!
... It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.
... You stupid bunnies!
... Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.
... why don't you make like a tree and get outta here.
... I'm your density. I mean... your destiny.
... I remember every detail. The Germans wore grey, you wore blue.
... Flux-capacitor... fluxing...
... if we blow up Kansas the world may not hear about it for years.
... Flattery will get you nowhere... but don't stop trying.
... Unlike the Americans, we prefer not to get our bad news from CNN.
... At my signal, unleash hell.
... Don't run, we are your friends.
... Elvis is not dead. He just went home.
... Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY.
... Kate, it's time for you to put your mouth where our balls are.
... You all are about as useful as a cock-flavoured lolly pop.
... It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.
... It's time to separate the weak from the chafed.
... You had me at blood and semen.
... Sometimes you gotta grab life by the haunches and hump it into submission.
... It's time to separate the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.
... apathetic bloody planet, I've no sympathy at all.
... Well, that's it. Good guy wins. Bad guy loses. Big freagin' surprise.
... Nuts to your white mice.
... ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking
... One's never alone with a rubber duck.
... Rome wasn't burned in a day.
... Right planet, wrong universe.
... Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
... Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
... You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
... Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
... Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
... Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
... Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
... In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
... You never ever run out of salt.
... You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona.
... I think I'll have a lie down. No I won't, I'll go and hit some guests.
... I'll ruin you. You'll never waitress in Torquay again.
... might I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window?
... You *can* see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
... You have rats in Spain, don't you - or did Franco have them all shot?
... Amphibious-landing-craft-shape? Sledgehammer-in-the-testicles shape?
... What shape do you prefer? Mickey Mouse shape? Smartarse shape?
... Please! Try to understand this conversation before one of us dies.
... Easier to find a packet of sliced hippopotamus in suitcase sauce
... Just my way of getting through the day, dear. The Samaritans were engaged.
... Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.
... A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
... Wanted, kind home for enormous savage rodent. Answers to the name of Sybil.
... Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
... What do people in China call their good plates?
... Why is a person that handles your money called a broker?
... If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
... Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
... Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
... At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
... You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
... Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
... Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
... Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
... You never know where to look when eating a banana.
... Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
... Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
... My ride is here. It looks like a huff. I think I'll leave in it.
... Let's touch stomachs.
... Oh Lord, honey, you are just as simple as that blouse you're wearin'.
... What's going on, what's happening, what's this all about?
... Welcome to Cynical Island, population: you.
... I bitch-slapped the law, and the law won.
... I am a lawyer, which means, unlike you, I actually *passed* a bar.
... Oh, honey, come on, gay, straight, bi, ti, they don't like change.
... And so ends a scene from "Mr. Bitch Goes to Washington"
... Who are you to judge, Judy?
... Honey, your words are rockin' my world and my pants.
... One woman's sexual harassment is another woman's night off.
... Hello, dark roast, my old friend.
... Spay him, spray him, throw him in a bag, and let's get out of here!
... I think you can learn to live on this. I mean Spain does.
... We're just like 50 men and a mirrored ball away from being a gay disco.
... What are you lookin' at, Rogaine failure?
... Who needs brains when you can lick your own eyebrows?
... I've copped a feel, might as well feel a cop.
... That's the pot calling the kettle taupe.
... That's so funny I forgot you're fat.
... Grab a bottle, hunker down and pray for daylight.
... I don't want lingerie that goldfish could live in.
... Close your mouth, you look like you're missing a chromosome.
... You had me at "dicks fuck assholes"
... I was raped by Mister Mephisophiles.
... It will be 911 times 2356.
... You have balls. I like balls.
... America, fuck yeah!
... You're never closer to God than when you are on television.
... It's true what they say, you don't buy tequila, you rent it.
... Part of me is angry but a part of me is proud. The rest of me is just drunk
... Ack! A rock! Quick, Marge, call a geologist!
... Mmm ... 52 slices of American cheese
... Mmm ... 50 dollar pretzel
... Mmm ... 64 slices of American cheese
... Mmm ... bacon
... Mmm ... apple
... Mmm ... beer
... Mmm ... beernut
... Mmm ... bowling alley fresh
... Mmm ... burger
... Mmm ... business deal
... Mmm ... caramel
... Mmm ... candy
... Mmm ... carmel bologna
... Mmm ... chocolate
... Mmm ... crumbled-up cookie things
... Mmm ... convenient
... Mmm ... elephant fresh
... Mmm ... danish
... Mmm ... floorpie
... Mmm ... fattening
... Mmm ... forbidden donut
... Mmm ... free goo
... Mmm ... free wig
... Mmm ... fresh batch of American balls
... Mmm ... foot-long chili dog
... Mmm ... fuzzy
... Mmm ... ginger bread house
... Mmm ... gummy-bear
... Mmm ... grapefruit
... Mmm ... gum with a cracker center
... Mmm ... ham
... Mmm ... hamburgers
... Mmm ... hippo
... Mmm ... hogan berry
... Mmm ... hog fat
... Mmm ... horse doovers
... Mmm ... honey-smoked bacon
... Mmm ... hug
... Mmm ... incapacitating
... Mmm ... macamadamia nuts
... Mmm ... marshmallows
... Mmm ... invisible cola
... Mmm ... mediciny
... Mmm ... open-faced club sandwich
... Mmm ... memo
... Mmm ... pie
... Mmm ... pistol whip
... Mmm ... organized crime
... Mmm ... purple
... Mmm ... pointy
... Mmm ... potato chips
... Mmm ... recirculated air
... Mmm ... reprocessed pig fat
... Mmm ... rich creamery butter
... Mmm ... sacrilicious
... Mmm ... salty
... Mmm ... sandwich
... Mmm ... shrimp
... Mmm ... snouts
... Mmm ... soylent green
... Mmm ... slanty
... Mmm ... strained peas
... Mmm ... spaghetti
... Mmm ... tasty
... Mmm ... the land of chocolate
... Mmm ... urinal fresh
... Mmm ... various eggs
... Mmm ... waffle runoff
... Mmm ... Marge
... Mmm ... something
... stupid gravity
... stupid sexy Flanders
... stupid economic recovery
... stupid anti-fist-shaking laws
... stupid roller skate
... stupid itchy church pants
... stupid poetic justice
... stupid dead woman
... stupid bike
... stupid rod
... stupid carbon rod
... stupid TV
... stupid teachers
... stupid switch
... stupid crow
... stupid Lisa
... stupid lunch chair
... stupid pothole
... stupid chair
... stupid game
... stupid non-magical son
... stupid script
... stupid movie
... stupid Bartoon
... stupid hippo
... stupid French
... stupid King of Troy
... lousy God
... lousy democrats
... lousy bragging know-it-all show-off
... lousy traffic jam
... lousy loveable dog
... lousy teachers
... lousy job
... lousy Community Service
... lousy drunks
... lousy Wiggum
... lousy traumatic childhood
... lousy cops
... lousy stupid Denver
... I have coveted my father's adultery and not honored my neighbor's ass.
... Why, some people over there aren't fighting, they're just lying down!
... I shall be known from now on, as the Black Vegetable.
... George, who is using the family brain cell at the moment?
... I now call on the Leader of the Opposition to test me on my Latin vocab.
... What a way to die. Shot by a transvestite on a unrealistic grassy knoll.
... Some people say I'm mad, and say the word "penguin" after each sentence.
... Sounds like a bag of grapefruits to me.
... Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
... Ointment, that's what you need when your head's cut off.
... I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants.
... Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics.
... it's not really a nugget, it's more of a splat.
... So we three alone in all the world can produce the finest green at will.
... Make a sentence out of the following words: face, sodding, your, shut.
... Chairs are the work of Belezabub! At our house Nathaniel sits on a spike!
... I sit on Nathaniel! Two spikes would be an extravagence!
... and then Squirry the Squirrel went Ni, Ni, Ni and they went home for tea.
... A man full of bile is not fit to pronounce on food.
... Engage candy bar!
... Why do things I love always burn?
... You're everywhere. You're omnivorous.
... If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
... Asleep at the switch! I wasn't asleep! I was drunk!
... De-fault! The two sweetest words in the English language.
... Oh, honey, I didn't get drunk, I just went to a strange fantasy world.
... Trying is the first step towards failure.
... If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key
... I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but couldn't find any
... My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
... I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
... You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
... Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom! boom!
... What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
... We will begin with the firemen then the math teachers and so on
... You will provide us with 198 billion humans. And, uh, small fries
... We'll need an army of super-virile men scoring 'round the clock!
... I filled up on nuts at the negotiation
... Someone's acting awfully aluminum
... Would you like some human with your salt?
... You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately-attractive monkey?
... Flingle. Glorg. Glorg and a gloob
... This isn't good cop, bad cop. This is fag and New Yorker
... Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times
... Your cholesterol. It comes from pizza...and your parents.
... I know you in the future! I clean your poop!
... We live long and are celebrated poopers!
... Did everything just taste purple for a second?
... Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains!
... I have shocking data revelant to this conversation.
... Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
... Interesting, the trousers conceal a tiny, secondary, horn.
... Those shoes are bi-curious
... Hey, look at you. You look like a fancy prostitute.
... I have bigger things to worry about than my personal life.
... In five years we’ll all either be working for him or be dead by his hand.
... Surely you will be allowed to starve to death in one of the royal parks.
... A leech on my ear for ear ache, a leech on my bottom for constipation.
... I want to get to the reception so I can get squiffy and seduce someone.
... Where haven't I been! Woof!
... Thanks bridesmaid, like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to.
... It's me, Flash! Flash by name, Flash by nature. Hurrah!
... You look like a bird who's swallowed a plate.
... I'm a gay bachelor. I'm a roarer, a rogerer, a gorger and a puker!
... I can't marry, I'm young, I'm firm buttocked.
... It's like goldy and bronzy, only it's made of iron.
... Hire you a horse? For ninepence? On Jewish new year in the rain?
... A bare fortnight after the dreaded horse plague of old London town?
... With the Blacksmith's strike in its fifteenth week?
... And the Dorset horse fetishists fair tomorrow?
... My mother told me to stand up to homicidal maniacs.
... Did not our Lord send a lowly earthworm to comfort Moses in his torment?
... Still worshipping God? Last time I heard, he was worshipping me!
... A tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.
... Treat your kite like you treat your woman
... That's how I like my girls...straight and to my point.
... The pants haven't been built yet that can take the job on!
... I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture just by sitting on it.
... Jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area
... I think the phrase rhymes with Clucking Bell!
... I made a note in my diary on the way over here. It simply reads - bugger
... A maternally crazed gorilla would come in handy at this very moment.
... The blood, the noise, the endless poetry.
... Ok chums, let's doooooo it. As the bishop said to the netball team.
... I'll fly back home and give your wife something to hang her towels on!
... Goggles on, last one back's a homo! Hooray!
... Beneath is boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac!
... Bloody potatoes. Next thing you know, they'll be eating them.
... For where there are others, there are people to fornicate with!
... That's very ironic, because I have a thingy that's shaped like a turnip.
... The devil farts in my face once more.
... I have the heart & stomach of a concrete elephant.
... My head feels like there's a Frenchman living in it!
... Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the Glit in the Milkman's Eye?
... Do you have any goal in life other than the acquisition of turnips?
... I've got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it & call it a weasel.
... I shall return...interfrastically.
... We're as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod.
... Oh God! Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more!
... I feel violated...and not in a good way
... You don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.
... it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbians
... no uterus, no opinion.
... Why isn't it Spiderman? You know, like Goldman, Silverman.
... There should *be* a gold man!
... It's not like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider *man*
... Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.
... No man should have to outlive his fictional wizard!
... He's Satan in a smock!
... Get your sorry, non-believer ass out of my chair.
... I'm a pacifist. But, when the revolution comes, I'll destroy all of you
... no barn owls, don't do drugs, love you, good night!
... I was born with a plastic spork in my ass, just like the rest of you.
... I'm afraid he's eating waffles with Jesus this morning.
... We have decided to rob Mick Jagger. Now, how are we gonna rob Mick Jagger?
... Suppose you were shaking. Do fries go with it? I'll bet they would.
... Oh, please. You make Freddy Mercury look straight.
... Because they were English. It was a tribute to Her Majesty.
... I want to be the guy that puts the tangerine in the toilet.
... No, no, no. Because 'I Can't Get No' is in parenthesis.
... If everyone listened to my instructions, it'd be called "12"
... Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
... The curve that sets things straight is a smile.
... Some eat and drink to live, how much nicer to live to eat and drink.
... We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
... When you can't have Prada, have a well-stocked larder.
... Tar is not a plaything
... It's potato, not potatoe
... Spitwads are not free speech
... Nobody likes sunburn slappers
... High explosives and school don't mix
... "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
... My name is not Dr. Death
... A burp is not an answer
... Teacher is not a leper
... I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
... The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
... Goldfish don't bounce
... Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
... No one is interested in my underpants
... I do not have diplomatic immunity
... I will not charge admission to the bathroom
... Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
... Norwegian chocolate. Frankly, you buy that stuff the terrorists win
... *waves hand* You want to go home and re-think your life
... Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing
... Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze
... Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre
... Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever
... He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree
... The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon
... Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do
... She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword
... She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs
... Usually broad beans
... Laws are like sausages; it is better not to see them being made.
... Nay, faith, let not me play a woman, I have a bread coming.
... He's got a heart as big as Moby Dick!
... That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.
... Bristow reasons ... Bristow quickens ... Aaahhhhh, Bristow.
... Jocky Wilson ... what an athlete.
... He's about as predictable as a wasp on speed.
... As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here.
... This lad has more checkouts than Tescos.
... There's only one word for that - magic darts!
... Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!
... Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles.
... That could be a total eclipse of the Part...
... Painter's not bothering with an undercoat... He's gone straight to gloss!
... That's quality with a capital 'K'!
... Hang on to your electric kettles...
... The players are under so much duress, it's like Duressic Park!
... He's as happy as a penguin in a microwave.
... Like the lion in winter, like the leopard in the snows of kilimanjaro
... He's got the eyes of a dying lizard!
... I slept like a log last night; I woke up in the fireplace.
... Man walks into a bar. Didn't half hurt. It was an iron bar.
... I had a ploughman's lunch the other day; he wasn't half mad.
... I'm on a whisky diet; I've lost three days already.
... I backed a horse today at 20 to 1. It came in at twenty past four.

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